1. You have an instinct that something isn't right
Different from feeling insecure, this is a gut feeling or instinct that resonates much deeper and does not fade much overtime. This feeling does not always indicate infidelity or that your partner is cheating on you, but often an indication that something has changed or happened that you don’t yet understand.
2. More aware of where their phone is and protective of it.
Your partner is more aware or conscious as to where their phone, tablet or laptop is, and more security measures have recently been implemented or changed. As an example, your partner added a password or changed a password on their cell phone. Another small indicator is a change in habit, they now take their phone with them everywhere they go, with little to no exceptions.
3. More regular instances that they are unreachable.
Normally they answer their phone whenever you call or in general when anyone calls. Lately they are harder to reach and in addition when the phone rings while you are together, they are not quick to answer, as they have in the past. When they are asked about why it’s hard to get in touch with them, they are dismissive, or their explanation is very short and minimal.
4. Working out more and focusing on their appearance.
As a change in daily life or in general, they are buying new clothes or working out their body and going to the gym. They are generally thinking about their appearance more, demonstrated through different actions. In many cases these activities are intensified after significant weight loss, resulting in more attention from others and an increase in self-confidence.
5. Changing habits with work and excuses to work late.
Work routines that have been quite regular with normal exceptions such as projects are changing. Last min changes, staying late at work, or an increase in work events or travel. In addition, your partner might be harder to contact (text or phone) during these scenarios.
6. Can’t account for some spending cash and credit cards.
If finances are transparent and shared, you might notice unusual charges in the bank or credit card statements. You notice that they are carrying more cash these days and there is less digital history (spending etc.) than in the past.
7. Friends are different or seem uncomfortable with you.
Friends and couples that you would normally socialize with or regularly talk with might seem uncomfortable and you can’t figure out why. Sometimes one person learns or suspects that your partner is, or has been unfaithful and cheated on you. They don’t know how to act, they often what to tell you, but they are not entirely sure if it’s true etc. They don’t want to start anything and be drawn into any drama and they enjoy your company. They feel burdened with the knowledge or suspicion and you might get the vibe that they are different around you.
8. Lack of sexual and or emotional connection or intimacy.
Think of sexual intimacy and emotional intimacy separate in this analysis. If sexual intimacy changes much in a short period of time, this doesn’t necessarily mean that your partner is cheating on you. However, if emotional intimacy changes, it might be a stronger indicator. As for an example your partner is less expressive and communicative, such as displays of affection like meaningful hugs and kisses. There are less examples or indicators of wanting to spend time together or go on a date together.
9. Dating App/Sites advertising to their social media feeds.
It’s very difficult to hide what we are doing or searching online. Google, Facebook, Twitter and many other App providers or platform providers are connected to almost everything we do on our devices. We might have secure devices, but the data that we provided these platforms enables them to follow all our moves, interests, wants, desires and actions. This data is also able to customize what is advertised to us and not just on one App or platform. Meaning if someone was searching for dating Apps or signed up for or downloaded a dating App, they might start seeing constant and regular adds on Facebook, Google and other digital platforms for the same dating App or others.
Remember this story: How Target Figured Out A Teen Girl Was Pregnant Before Her Father Did https://www.forbes.com/sites/kashmirhill/2012/02/16/how-target-figured-out-a-teen-girl-was-pregnant-before-her-father-did/?sh=4f93e8f76668
10. Angry or deflective about the topic of infidelity or cheating.
Confronting someone with your fears of infidelity or cheating is certainly not comfortable, but in many cases if someone is truly not guilty of anything of that nature, their first response is not likely to be anger and or defensiveness. If your concerns were just Fears for whatever the reason, a person who has nothing to hide is likely to laugh as if you’re joking and then be reassuring once they realize you were being serious. Anger or defensiveness is not an omission of guilt, but it often is a questionable initial response.
These are general reflections from our experiences with many clients over the past 23 years, these are not rules, but rather patterns that might have a collective meaning.
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